Kyle, the last autumn of his life
Kyle, as a puppy, only six months old
This blog features as its opening picture, my most beloved Scottish Terrier, Kyle "Thistlepark Braveheart Babe," running full-tilt through Kanawha State Forest, WV. I like to remember him this way, not beaten down by illnesses that neither he nor I had the strength or knowledge to fight.
Kyle was a spectacular dog. Yes, I know a lot of people say that about their dogs, but on the other hand, not many dogs have books written in their honor. Yes, my Kyle was featured in a book by Sharon Sakson, "Paws and Effect, the Healing Power of Dogs." An entire chapter was devoted to my amazing dog and the way he helped me to heal during my own dark time of uncertainty. He kept me going in ways that were nothing short of heaven-sent. And that is exactly who I thank for Kyle: God who made him and sent him to me.
Sharon let me know about a month ago that Kyle is coming to paperback and that she wanted photos of him for this edition. I was happy to provide pictures of the dog that has been one of the most photographed images of my life.
I hope to write more about Kyle in future posts--sometimes it is just so hard to sum up all that he was to me and what he added to my life--and then, too, I cry non-stop everytime I try to write about him, making it hard to focus. I realize that it is an overhwhelming responsibility--for me, at least--to really put into words what I keep in my heart for that little fellow. I don't want to get a single word of it wrong.
All Scotties are special, all Scotties have something individually charming about them, but this one had something extra. He was smart, he was thoughtful, but most of all, he was mine, through and through. From the moment we met, he was my boy. Losing him has been like adjusting to a bad dream.
It has never seemed right to be without him and I suspect it never will be in this life.
He was born November 28, 1994, and I lost him August 30, 2006. The time in between was ours and I will never forget how we spent those days, hours and minutes.
The song "I Know You By Heart" by Eva Cassidy on my playlist is especially for Kyle. As the song says:
Midnights in Winter
The glowing fire Lights up your face in orange and gold.
I see your sweet smile
Shine through the darkness
It's line is etched in my memory.
So I'd know you by heart.
Mornings in April
Sharing our secrets
We'd walk until the morning was gone.
We were like children
Laughing for hours
The joy you gave me lives on and on.
Cause I know you by heart.
I still hear your voice
On warm Summer nights
Whispering like the wind.
You left in Autumn
The leaves were turning
I walked down roads of orange and gold.
I saw your sweet smile
I heard your laughter
You're still here beside me every day.
Cause I know you by heart, Cause I know you by heart.
I was looking through some things last night and came upon a book I purchased a few months before Kyle's death. I found I couldn't bring myself to look at it while he was still living, but after he died, I put it out on our entry table along with a little memorial to Kyle. I do this for all the pets after they pass, and sometimes, it seems our entryway is a sad sort of place. But I like to remember the happy times with all those we've lost, so I try to feature pictures of days when they felt good and they were squeezing every drop out of the life they were given. I also put out all the sympathy cards I receive from my friends. Kyle had a pretty big spread laid out in his honor. I found as I put together these things, the little book was a comfort to me as I grieved my best dog's loss.
"For Every Dog an Angel" is described as "a magical little book for those who have found their forever dog and for those who hope to," written and illustrated by Christine Davis. It follows the path of each new puppy in the world, and the job of the angels to watch over each one. Sometimes, a certain dog will find it's "person" and something special happens. I found a passage that describes how I think of Kyle even now, and thought it might be nice to share with others who also had a once-in-a-lifetime bond with a dog:
From time to time, when a certain person and a certain dog
meet, something happens that is just like magic!
It is as if they have known each other before.
Each knows what the other is thinking and feeling.
They will be together always. And the guardian angel
watches over the two with love, knowing her dog has found
its forever person and the person has found their forever dog . . . .
but the greatest gift these two
but the greatest gift these two
will share is knowing what is in
the other's heart.
Side by Side,
looking up at the sky on
a starry night,
forever person and their
forever person and their
forever dog will share all
the secret hopes and dreams
that are only told
to a very
best friend.
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* * * * * * * * * *
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One day,
the angel bridge
that your forever dog crossed
over many years earlier
will appear to you.
And with the happy heart
of a person who is going home,
you will cross the bridge
and find yourself welcomed
by all the animal friends
you made when you
were on earth.
In the middle of all that love
your forever dog will be waiting for you.
It will be like the day you found
each other on earth. You will know you
have been together before, and nothing
will ever separate you again.
And the angels will be happy
knowing a forever person and their forever dog
have found each other once more.
I know for many people, my love of dogs and the way that they minister to my life is puzzling. It probably isn't a typical Christian view of the world. But I can only say it is the way I am made, the way I've always been. Kyle was the dog I always wanted, was grateful to know and is now the dog I'll always miss. One of my favorite Bible verses says: "From the place of His habitation He looks on all the inhabitants of the earth; He fashions their hearts individually; He considers all their works." Psalm 33:14-15
My heart was fashioned specifically to love dogs--that much I know.
Paul writes that "Each one of you is a separate and necessary part." But we have to know what brings out the best in us. For instance, I've never been much of a joiner, more a one-on-one kind of a person. I used to feel bad that I couldn't serve in that way, but study has shown me that God fashioned me specially and individually for the purpose he had in mind. I am not supposed to be a carbon copy of anyone. "Be content with who you are."
(1 Pe 5: 6 TM.)
I am sure that part of his desire for my life was caring for the creatures of this earth. It's something that motivates me, excites me and calls me to action. And remembering Kyle is a way of honoring that spark of God within me, that resided within him as well.
Here's to you, Mr. K, my Sunny D, my buddy boy~~
